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blonde21_blue
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Name: Allison
Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States
Birthday: 10/21/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: Shopping, talking to friends, hanging out
Expertise: Politeness (Diana lol)
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  ConfusedBLondFrk
Member Since:
2/18/2005
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| Ha nobody writes in these anymore or looks at them. Why would anyone wanna put their journal online for all to see anyway?
So yesterday I hung out with my friends all day and signed up for range. It was a great day. i'm really excited about range.
this was a boring entry
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| My mind has been completely elsewhere lately. I mean in class, at home, simply everywhere. I've almost stopped paying attention in class entirely. Not that I payed much attention to begin with. I just want to retire from school. Just don't go anymore. I think we all have days like that , but when we're sitting at home becasue we faked sick at the same time we're wishing we were with our friends. We're incredibly lonely and bored. Well what happens when we marry people who will support us entirely so we don't have to work and then our new place is to stay at home and we want to retire from that? Do we just leave life? Suicide maybe? I suppose you could do that. But then you have to remember that there are those days and people that we absolutely love and don't want to be apart from. So if you want to take a day off from school, fine.This seems entirely irrelevant to life. It's almost as if i'm writing to someone about to commit suicide or that I myself have considered it. I haven't and i'm not writing to pychos out there. Just simply writing. I like to write. no matter how much it doesn't make sense, it just feels different from everyday life. Unless you write everyday, which I don't. Nor do I intend to becasue then I would want to take constant breaks from it and then end up never writing again. So maybe this writing and things i've said before don't make a point to anyone else, but when I look back at what I wrote it's more of a note to me and myself. A pre-reminder of what I might do before I even realize that i'm doing it. Not much sense there. But I get the drift. | | |
| I love Christmas. Seriously. Do you know what else I love? My friends, Jack and Dexter.( not implying that Jack and Dexter are my only friends, just that my friend + them are what I love) Those three things absolutely complete me. I've realized that I kind of talk a lot and I really want to stop. I mean I want to express my opinion, but not bore people. The color yellow makes me happy and calm and every mood I love to be in. I don't know what I would do if Dennis was never nice to me. My heart just melts when he's nice to me. It makes me feel more like family to him. I wish he was my real twin, but he doens't wan to be called my twin and that makes me sad. He's probably been my best friend since forever and stopped haning out with me when he got into the 7th grade. I honestly don't know what I did without him. I mean yeah I had other friends, but not like him. I miss him. And him having a girlfriend doesn't help. She's wonderful for him, but i'm jealous. I hate being jealous. I want to be a carefree person, but not in the sense that I get lazy and really don't care about anything at all, but i'm sure you know what I mean. Country music is fun. I don't like being called a hick though. it's very hurtful and I don't think I am a hick because I don't listen to serious country. I just listen to mainly alternative country and rock country. It's a ctually really good. Yesterday I was really sad and I think I really upset some of my best friends. I really don't mean to be hurtful, it's the furthest from my mind. Anyway I had made plans to go shopping with Diana and then later on I invited Janessa to go along because I thought it would be fun. Diana doesn't care for Janessa and I respect that and I know that I can't get everything that I want, but I would really like for them to get along. I shouldn't really expect anything out of anyone and nobody should expect anything from anyone either. I mean be realistic and not selfish. Us being humans I guess doesn't really help, but think about others before you thank about yourself. I've gone through many dilema's in my life and the two major one's i'm going through right now are college and a job. I really want to go to a college with all of my friends and I know this proabably won't happen, but always hope for the best. I want to go to law school somewhere on the east coast but would bend my dreams for my friends just to be with them. Diana wants to be a psycologist and I believe Cristina wants to major in art. I don't know if there is any school that offers all three of those with really programs for each. I'm looking but I don't think there are any. My next choice would be to atleast go to school in the same city whether or not same school. Chicago so far is the only city I can thing of that offers all three with great programs. Honestly I don't want to stay here. I love my family a lot, but I feel like i'm missing out on something and want to go elsewhere for college, such as, the east coast. I love the east coast it is soo beautiful. I could spend forever there. My other dilema is a job. I want to be a lawyer, but what if that doesn't work out? I would like to be interior design and what if that doesn't work out? What would I do? Maybe a chef. Honestly I don't know what I want to do, but whatever it is I want to be happy. I want to be succesful. I want to be free. It doesn't really make all that much sense to have all of those. I think a novelist would be almost ideal for me if I had talent in writing. I love books so much. I could read books forever and not get bored. they are my safe-haven, they are my world, they are my moods and feelings. I would also like to be a philosopher, somone ideal to get advice and wisdom from. That I would love to be. If I could fix everyone's problems with a phrase I would cry in happiness. Don't you love it when you cry because you are so happy? I love it. I recently finished a book called Stargirl that my friend Crisitna bought for me. I loved it so much. I cried out of joy at the end. I will probably read the book a millions times over again just to revist that moment and feeling. Sometimes I make special bookmarks with sents so when i smell that scent again I also have that memory. It's really cool and amazing. I wish I could do that for everything. I mean don't you have like spacial people or places that have certain scents and when you smell them certain memories come to mind and you're either happy or sad, but it doesn't matter because it just back a memory that you've forgotten and think that's a really cool and beautiful thing. Or even images bring back memories. Like a picture of a house could bring back the memory of something that happened near or in that house. For me it's these tin soldiers my brother and I used to play with at my grandparens cottage. i love that cottage and their are so many memories of family and fun there. Sometimes I cry because I can't have all of those memories back because everyone in the family is getting older and moving on. But these tin soldiers are huge part of my life even though it's a small memory and a small object, it gives a huge impact. I'm not quite sure why I felt like typing all of this right now. Nothing in particular happened that would spark thoughts like this or make me want to type them. It feels good to tell people about these things whether they will ever mean anything to anyone, but because they mean something to me it felt good to share them. | | |
| So this week has been a little "rocky", but it's over now and things are not perfect but they are better. Which is great! My firends are coming over this weekend and i'm putting up Christmas decorations! It's gonna be great! I'm so excited. It sounds liek a great weekend. So how is everyone else??? I hope they are great! Oh boy it's getting pretty "chilly" outside. You know the ffirst itme I heard the word chilly used that way I was about 5 and I heard it form my friends mum and i thought it was the weirdest things ever. I was like whoah what does that mean???? Lol anyways...... have a great weekend everyone! | | |
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Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
--Bert the turkey and Allison! | | |
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